So, yeah I'm home an hour early from church. First of all 9:00 am church for a mom by herself with 5 kids just isn't fair, even if there was a time change. Every Sunday is spent dragging the kids out of bed, begging them to hurry and get ready, and then get the older kids to help with the little kids too, especially if we're running late. Usually, my older kids are very good about doing this. Today's dragging was probably my fault for taking the kids to the Hare Krishna Diwali Festival last night, so we didn't get to bed until late.
My oldest woke up saying she wasn't feeling well. I had to help Cam give a talk and didn't feel like leaving her home alone, so I said just get ready and stick it out until he's done with his talk. She was a good sport for the most part, but I think my kids are starting to take advantage of the "being sick" thing. I don't think she was that bad. For example, if it had been a school day and they were going on a field trip or doing something cool, I'm sure she would have been fine.
We hurry to the church and sit down in the back and immediately the 3 yr old starts crying and throwing a tantrum about something stupid. I think today, it was because she didn't have a hymn book. So, I pass the baby to the oldest and drag her out into the kitchen where I try to remain calm and get her to calm down. She finally says sorry and agrees to go back in. Not within 10 seconds of having sat down, she's at it again I don't know what about this time. The baby was getting fussy as well. So, I grab the baby and drag the 3 yr old out again. This time into the Relief Society room which is further away for noise control. I try to get her to calm down again, this time she pulls the "sick"card. Apparently, she is sick now too. I end up dragging her out to the foyer so that we can at least have the sacrament.
Then my 2nd oldest suddenly appears. Apparently, she couldn't wait to get a tissue. So, now she's sitting with the 3 yr old and we wait for the sacrament. 3 yr old decides to cheer up and say sorry again and we go back inside. 2nd oldest decides to be a booger and bug the 3 yr old and try to play with the finger puppets I had given her to entertain her, which of course causes noise and disruption as the 3 yr old is very loud. She also keeps getting up and walking around. Other kids not so bad, but apparently, oldest is feeling well enough to start a noisy game with her brother because she was bored. Meanwhile, baby is fussy. I know she is tired, but refuses to go to sleep, take a binky, or calm down. So, leaving instructions for oldest to watch others, not to get up and follow me, which they love to do if I have to leave with the younger 2. I'm out int the hall trying to calm down the baby, when sure enough the oldest comes out. I need to throw away my gum, she says. Really? How old are you? Use your head? That couldn't have waited? You could have put it in your wrapper. There was a trash can close to the door, too! So, because she came out, then the others follow. 2nd oldest says, I wanted to know where Bailey went. 3 yr old is now rolling around on the floor in her dress with the baby. I swiftly and angrily send the oldest 2 back inside with a stern warning and reminder to behave. Of course, all the while they do this it is very loud, especially the door clicking open and shut every time. Amazingly, my son who has been the recent behavior problem as of late was the best behaved. I think this might have something to do with getting his dart gun back that was confiscated yesterday. A dart gun that by the way I did not approve of that he picked up from a "free sale" from a neighbor trying to get rid of their stuff. Next thing I know, we have a ton of more junk. Anyway, except for the loud comments he likes to occasionally make, and the game he was playing with older sister, he was pretty good.
Next to happen is the oldest coming out AGAIN, this time because she was looking for the 3 yr old who she didn't notice follow her out the first time. By now I have had it and am angry and embarrassed so I tell them to get back in there and grab their stuff and get out. I round them up and head for the Relief Society room again, which also has the sacrament meeting piped into there for listening. So, I tried to keep them sitting there and behaved, but of course they had to play musical chairs and be disruptive in there. There were a few other people in there because there was a baby blessing and it was crowded in the chapel. Finally, sacrament meeting is over and I tell the kids to get to class. More whining of course by all. Help son with talk, he does well. I head to Sunday School and figure we can wait out the hour before I see how the oldest is doing and if she is still too sick and needs to go home.
Baby is ok for the most part, a little fussy, but ok. Making noise, but not too much, and it was happy noise. Then she gets a little fussy off and on, but I distract her and keep her happy. Then I encounter people who feel like they have to touch my baby's hands and face. Really? Please, keep your germs to yourself! Baby's stick their hands in their mouths, and germs spread even if you're just squishing their cheeks! I do NOT need sick kids right now, PLEASE! I am at my limit, when the baby starts to get louder. I'm about ready to scream and cry myself. I gather up baby and stuff and we're done. I grab the kids from their classes and we go home. I send all the kids to quiet time in their rooms. They are to remain there until church is out at it's normal time. Baby went to sleep, but now she is waking up again, want to guess why? If your answer was the 3 yr old you would be correct.
Sunday is spent either getting ready for church FOREVER, wrestling the kids, trying to get them to behave, refereeing the naughty kids, and trying to keep them entertained for the rest of the Sunday while trying to keep the sabbath day holy. I'm tired, I'm drained, I've had it! Today I just wonder if it's even worth it any more. My husband is in Texas and I'm tired of doing this. Why don't I give up? Well, that's a good question, today I kind of did. If the oldest hadn't been sick I probably would have stuck it out, but here we are. Sunday is not restful, or calming, or nourishing or anything like that for me anymore. Sometimes, I actually get to hear something, but then there are days like today. We've actually been coping alright for the most part. There have even been a few Sundays where the kids were pretty good. Today, just came to a head I guess. Well, I will go through this crazy week like all the rest and hope we don't all end up sick. Then, we will go through it all again next Sunday and hope for a better day. Chase, I sure hope you had a good Sunday at least, to make up for our sucky one I have been having. Love you and miss you! Wish you were here to help me cope with the chaos, of course if you were here there would be less chaos, or maybe not. I guess it will always be crazy no matter what.
Quick update. Kids came down when church was over (their alloted time for staying in quiet time)and gave me cards that they had made to tell me they are sorry with their Halloween candy stapled to it. I'm still a little angry, but I love my 5 booger heads. I just can't stay mad at them, not when snickers bars and m&m's are on the line, just kidding. They are generally very good and sweet kids, but I'm just going crazy right now. I guess for now though, I won't be selling any of the kids to the gypsies or the circus.
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Oh Jenn, I really feel for you. I know we all have miserable kid Sundays, but it is so hard to have to deal with it all by yourself. I feel really lucky that I have a lot of support in my ward & to know that someone will always come to my rescue when I need it. I don't have quite as many kids as you do on your bench, but I can relate. My only advise that came to mind as I read this is what I've done since Mike was called to be Bishop. It's basically bribery, but it includes elements of good parenting, I think. I call it the SUPER-SPECIAL-SUNDAY-SURPRISE...quite a mouthfull when trying to be threatening & giving a warning, but it is an earned reward (of MY choosing)for following all the "Sunday Rules." On the way to church I ask if everyone remembers all the Sunday rules & we review them so that the expectations are clear. The rules are basically the same all the time, but the wording has changed depending on what the current behavior issues are. For example, "Listen the first time," "No screaming & crying," No snacks until after the bread & water," "If I have to take you out of the meeting you lose your S.S.S.S." "Sit with Mom in the Chapel & no running around after the meeting is over," etc....
ReplyDeleteAnyways, I know that when I'm consistent this really helps our Sunday feel better. I pack a bag of fruit snacks, friend magazines, crayons & coloring books, and a few hotwheel cars for my 3 year old. Sometimes I've had to pass the baby over to a family with older kids & 2 parents, which I guess could be risky as far as germs go, but it sure helps to have my hands free & Bryce will usually go to sleep on someone else's shoulder. I hope that your family is all reunited again soon. Hang in there! You are a wonderful mom & your kids are lucky to have you!
Hey Jen, thanks for the support! I know there are other moms out there going through the same thing I am, so I appreciate any pearls of wisdom thrown my way :)
ReplyDeleteOh, Jenn! This made me want to cry! I SO feel for you. Sundays are hard enough with 2 parents, but when one, esp. the dad, is gone it seems that all heck will break loose. I've had to do the single mom thing a couple of times in our marriage and I can so relate. My 3 yr old, Connor, tells me every Sunday that he hates church. Ever since he could recognize where we were, he would start screaming and throwing a tantrum every time we would pull into the church parking lot. I just keep telling myself that if I give up, then Satan wins. He doesn't want our kids to grow up in the gospel and he will make us feel so lousy on those horrible days that we want to give up. Just keep going, even if your sitting in a separate room and trying not to cry. The kids will learn that no matter what church is important and you have a testimony. They feel the Spirit when they are there and learn by your example. The Spirit is the one that converts. They'll get it and you won't even know they did. Lately, I have seen evidence that my persistence has paid off. Sierra is in YW now and makes an effort to read her scriptures and work on personal progress. We recently had some adversity to wade through and I saw my children praying, reading the scriptures, and learning to lean on the Savior. It is an awesome feeling to know they really were paying attention. You're doing what the Lord wants you to do and He WILL bless your efforts, even if you don't see it right away. I know it's tough. Hang in there. You can do it! I know you can!
ReplyDeleteLove and hugs!