Emery Misses Her Dad

Emery has been struggling lately with some emotional and behavior issues, which I believe have stemmed from our last 2 turbulant yrs, but most recently from the absence of her dad. It got noticeably worse when I left to visit with Chase for a week back in Oct. as well as for some other children.

Emery has been really sick the last couple of days with croup and a possible ear infection. She's been more clingy than normal, but has appeared to be happier the last 2 days and a little bit more well behaved. Today while I was trying to eat lunch and read my scriptures while the baby was napping, Emery decided that she needed to climb all over me and sit in my lap. So, I finally gave in and let her sit on my lap while I tried to read. After a few minutes of me trying to read and asking her if she wanted me to read out loud, I decided it wasn't working. I figured that maybe this was one of those moments where family obligations need to come before church/spiritual obligations. So, I closed my scriptures and decided to talk with Emery.

The following conversation occurred...

Emery: "Mom, a long time ago, you left, and I was sad." (This was the first time she had talked to me about how she felt.)

Me: "I'm sorry, but I came back."

Emery: "It was a long time. I was happy when you came back." (Then she proceeded to make up some stories about her siblings while I was gone, at least I'm pretty sure they're made up. Something about Cam saying he was going to be bad and then he gave Addie and Bailey presents but not her.)

Emery: "I want my dad!"

Me: "I know sweet heart. We get to see him real soon."

Emery: "I want my dad now! I miss my dad, I want my dad, I want my dad, I want my dad!" (I lost count of how many times she said that. She couldn't be consoled or distracted. It started to break my heart.)

Me: "Emery, next week we get to take a trip to see Daddy. It's only 5 more days!"

Emery: "I want to go on a trip! I'm getting my shoes."

Me: "Emery, we're not going today it's not for 5 more days."

Emery: "I'm getting my shoes. Mom, go get your shoes!"

Well, a couple of more times trying to explain to a 3 yr old why she can't go see her father and then we eventually were able to distract her by playing a game of Uno Stacko Jenga, well I tried to play the real way, but we ended up building different things instead.

But before we played the game Emery told me the following story...

"There was a woof (wolf) and there was a baby woof. The mommy woof left and made the baby woof sad. The mommy woof came back and the baby woof was happy. The daddy woof was gone and the baby woof was sad. Then the daddy woof came back and the baby woof was happy."

I've been trying to give Emery the positive attention that she's been needing and trying to cope with her behavior issues in the right way, which can be difficult. I've been trying to reinforce her positive behavior while trying to deter her negative behavior and channel it in different direction. Today, I saw a glimpse of the old, happy, silly, and sweet, but still slightly sassy Emery that I have missed. It has been hard having Chase gone, but I think it will make us stronger and bring us closer together as we have learned to truly appreciate eachother as individuals and as a family. I have deffinately seen how not having one parent or the other in the home can have a very real and devastating effect on children. I am so thankful for a loving and righteous husband and father who is only going to be temporarily absent. We are very blessed to have Chase and we are not the same without him. Hopefully, we will be together soon. We are so very excited to see him for Thanksgiving, hopefully with everyone healthy and well again. We're counting down the days!